Healing the Inner Child/
Empowering the Adult
1. What is the Inner child -
a. The psychiatrist, Dr. Eric Berne, MD (d.1970), developed the social concept he
called Transactional Analysis, (TA for short), and introduced it to the public in the
book, Games People Play, published in 1964.
b. This concept proposes that there are three ego states in an individual’s personality,
Parent, Adult and Child (PAC for short).
c. Each of these “ego states” serves an important purpose: (following are some
examples)
i. We are in our Parent state when we are guiding or admonishing a child
ii. We are in our Adult state when we are transacting business or having
polite social interactions with others
iii. We are in our Child state when we are playing or acting in an intimate
way with another individual
d. So the Inner Child is the personification of this Child ego state of someone’s
personality
2. Why is it wounded?
e. It is analogous to original sin, in that we are born that way.
f. But it is not a problem when we are children, because it fits our child personality
g. It becomes a problem when we become adults
h. Our Inner Child can contaminate our adult thinking
i. By design, if the mother or mother’s substitute, bonds with the child, the problem
should not occur.
j. Unfortunately, since the dawn of the twentieth century, bonding has been even
more of a problem
3. How does it affect our lives?
k. It affects our lives because the Child contaminates the Adult
l. The Child is fine in its place, but when we act like a child, when we should be
acting like an adult, social problems occur
m. Drinking too much, Smoking too much, over eating, abuse of drugs, being a
workaholic, being addicted to sex, excessive gambling, over spending, being
abusive, putting up with people’s abuse, etc. Anything that is a weakness or
negative compulsion, that throws your life out of balance and is a problem to our
self and others.
n. Anything that is keeping you from functioning at the level you would like to, in
everything you do.
o. Like a governor on your life. The Inner Child wound is holding you back. It is
keeping you from functioning as a complete adult.
p. As a mother monkey carries its baby around all day, imagine if that child, when it
becomes an adolescent, still riding around on its mothers back. It is not
appropriate and becomes an undue burden to the mother. So too the Inner Child
when not healed clings more closely to the individuals Adult and creates a burden
by unduly influencing that persons actions and judgment
q. Feels like a weakness or emptiness inside. Makes us feel vulnerable. Keeps us
from doing and being at our best.
4. What happens when we fix it, heal the Inner Child?
r. We immediately get greater inner strength.
s. We will feel, because we will be, more resilient. (Things will not bother us as
much. We will recover much faster from emotional setbacks.)
t. Our lives will be more in our control and less in the control of others.
u. We will feel more comfortable about trying new things in life because we will
have less fear of change.
v. We will become much more empowered!
5. What is required to accomplish this change?
w. Does it take weeks, months or even years of therapy or counseling?-No!
x. Does it require you to remember certain life strategies or certain mental
exercises?-No!
y. Does it require any kind of discipline at all?-No!
z. Why does it sound so simple?-Because it is!
aa. It is simple, but it is not easy. If it were, everyone would have already done it and
no one would need to learn the process.
bb. You simply need to know the process, the code that opens the lock. Then it
becomes easy.
cc. In fact, it can be done in one session with permanent results.
dd. The process of Self Bonding™ can be done in person or via the phone.
